Table of contents<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nPreface<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 1. 5-7-5<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 2. Getting into haibun<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 3. Not 5-7-5<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 4. An important sidetrack<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 5. Phrase and fragment<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 6. Morning fragrance. A haibun<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 6. Refining a haiku<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 7. Various forms of haiku<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A memory<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Second thoughts<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sailing memories. A haibun<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On #Prompts<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From idea to poem<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Writing after memory<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Getting inspired by others<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Using old memories<\/p>\n\n\n\n
THANKS<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Preface<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nCuriosity is the mother of much joy and irritation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had heard about haiku.I joined some haiku groups on Facebook in order to learn something about haiku writing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here I want to share some of the lessons I have received. I may not have understood everything. Everybody says that you can continue learning haiku during your whole life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Therefore, I am grateful if you have any comments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are welcome to email me:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
yvonne.waern@gmail.com<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 1 Five seven five<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nFirst, I thought that haiku were short poems, to be written on three lines., with five syllables on the first, seven on the second and five on the third.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I also had understood that a note about the season should be made.<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/yvonnewaern.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/Azalea-1-1024x736.jpeg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\nwhen my flower smiles<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I smile, too, in early May<\/p>\n\n\n\n
later tears will fall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Comment:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nNo anthropomorphism in haiku!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nSo I learned some<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(to be unlearned later)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In next attempt, I was still stuck with the idea of 5-7-5<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
fruit trees are making<\/p>\n\n\n\n
tasty flower cakes in May<\/p>\n\n\n\n
no guests are coming<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No comments<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was this OK?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 2. <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nGetting into haibun<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n#Olive<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Background:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have several times witnessed olive farmers in Spain during their harvest of olives. They place a piece of cloth under the tree, climb up the tree and shake. On the ground lies their harvest, to be sorted out from the leaves and small twigs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
untidy business<\/p>\n\n\n\n
leaves and fruits on the ground<\/p>\n\n\n\n
olive harvest<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
shaken twigs scatter<\/p>\n\n\n\n
fruits on farmers\u2019 carpet<\/p>\n\n\n\n
for a Golden stream<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Comment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A haibun is a short story then a<\/em> haiku. we don’t usually use images though.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n(I had included an image )<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another haibun<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n\u201dMorning fragrance\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I sat at the veranda, watching the bird chicks play on the roof.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One fell and I was on my way to get up to rescue it, when he flapped his wings and disappeared into the wet leaves of a cherry tree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
flapping sound<\/p>\n\n\n\n
flowers catch sun rays <\/p>\n\n\n\n
after morning rain<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It started raining again, fine drops fell on the flowers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I noticed the exquisite smell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
fragrance arrives<\/p>\n\n\n\n
nose shivers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A bumble bee buzzed above the flowers close to me, but stopped at my sight and backed into the air. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
bumble bee searching<\/p>\n\n\n\n
shocked at the sight<\/p>\n\n\n\n
behind the flowers<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No reactions. It was, after all, summer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Much later, one of my nicest haiku friends told me that this was again an anthropomorphism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, much later, I see that I should write in current time, that is ”sit” insteadof ”sat”, for instance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 3. <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nNot 5-7-5<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nI read that the 5-7-5 syllables may be a misunderstanding. In English a syllable is different from the Japanese \u201dmora\u201d. Thus, I left the 5-7-5 pattern.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#decorum<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the grazing robot<\/p>\n\n\n\n
has stopped working<\/p>\n\n\n\n
dandelions<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Comment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The gra<\/em>zing robot is a funny idea.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nPhase 4. No aphorisms!<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nHaiku are so short that I easily fell into a habit of writing aphorisms. However, I was soon told that this isn\u2019t right. Here some of my critisized attempts:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Garden snail<\/p>\n\n\n\n
home is everywhere <\/p>\n\n\n\n
when it\u2019s on your back<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Comment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is a nice shahai (haiku + photo). However, if you take the haiku alone, it is more like a saying than a haiku. You may want to make it more traditional with something like:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nHome on your back<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nHeavy and everywhere<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nSlow globetrotter <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nAnother example, <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
now on the theme of \u201dshadow\u201d. I was inspired by a photo that I had taken:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nobody<\/p>\n\n\n\n
escapes<\/p>\n\n\n\n
his shadow<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is easily seen that this isn\u2019t a haiku. It might qualify as a one_liner, a monostich or a monoku. However, it has not got the preferred form of a haiku, no fragment\/phrase structure (to be presented in phase 5).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This was pointed out by some commentator, who also said that this was more of an aphorism than a haiku. And haiku are not about aphorisms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
An important sidetrack<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nIn early summer I am usually obsessed with the sun and the light. Thus, the prompts concerned with sun fitted me very well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#<\/strong>Sunshine<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nAfter eight months of indoor enclosure sunshine appears. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
dropping mobile<\/p>\n\n\n\n
sorry, I have to leave –<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the door opens<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#Sunshine<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nsix hours of travel <\/p>\n\n\n\n
in a sardine coffiin<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– sunshine!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#Sunshine<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\non my tombstone<\/p>\n\n\n\n
just one word:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
LIGHT<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#Sunshine<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\na spoonful of <\/p>\n\n\n\n
summer sun enough for a<\/p>\n\n\n\n
winter day<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Much later I understood that this maybe another aphorism<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 5. <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nPhrase and fragment<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nIn next phase I learned that the three lines of a haiku should be constructed as follows:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two lines that are called \u201da phrase\u201d, describing one observation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A third line called \u201da fragment\u201d, that should contain another observation, linked to the first phrase by either an association, a contrast or a comparison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I take the following as my example. It is mocking haiku, I think, but it is very typical:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Haiku are simple<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nbut sometimes they don\u2019t make sense <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nREFRIGERATOR<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n(quote usually attributed to Roger Nelson)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are some examples of my attempts:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
October afternoon<\/p>\n\n\n\n
waiting for coffee<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the cozy armchair<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
apples in the grass<\/p>\n\n\n\n
small holes in each skin<\/p>\n\n\n\n
birds fly up<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
a cluttered mind <\/p>\n\n\n\n
that\u2019s where you find<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the unexpected<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
jumping up in air<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ending in free fall \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
from the bed<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the kicked ball unfurls – <\/p>\n\n\n\n
children run away<\/p>\n\n\n\n
with the cat<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 6 <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nRefining a haiku<\/strong> – an example<\/p>\n\n\n\nA haiku is short enough for the poet to reflect over every single word. Sometimes experienced haijins (English for haiku poets) react to my attempts. I am going to show here what happened to a haiku that I published in the group ”Haiku Nuggets”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It started with me reacting to a ”prompt” that was ”elephant”. I was going to do something different, let the elephant be fictional in a book and then step out of the book. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The first version was:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The elephant<\/p>\n\n\n\n
in the book took just a step<\/p>\n\n\n\n
my favourite doll!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The reaction from a reader was that the first two lines were good. So I should do something about the last line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had thought it could be a bit ambiguous: 1) the elephant stepped on my favorite doll <\/p>\n\n\n\n
2) the elephant was my favorite doll.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another reader had another suggestion:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the elephant<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\ntook just one step<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nfrom the book.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nWell – it was not what I had in mind, and besides, it was just one idea and I wanted two thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I suggested a slightly different ending: 1) the elephant got a banana, 2) a fly flew its way, 3) the elephant disappeared. The commentator thought it would be good with the third: the elephant disappeared.Meanwhile still another reader came with another suggestion:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
fairy tale<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nthe elephant takes<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\na graceful step<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nwhich I didn\u2019t like at all:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dNo! That tells too much! With the fairy tale! A little mystery is better, as I see it. I chose \u201din the book\u201d of some reason!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I suggested the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the elephant<\/p>\n\n\n\n
in the book takes just one step \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n
disappears<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To which the commentator responds: \u201dthe idea of Karumi\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nAnd I of course have to ask: \u201dWhat is Karumi?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dIt is \u2019lightness\u201d\u2019-<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n??<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\nThen I protest against including the word \u201dfairy tale\u201d, and the commentator writes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dLet the reader for what it is worth, decide on that by allowint him\/herself to participate and interpret the poem his\/her way\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nI answer:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dI want to have some part in the creative process by offering cues\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nand the patient commentator points out:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201ddon\u2019t make them vague and hard to understand as to muddle the overall intent of the poem.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nand then he points out something I didn\u2019t think of before:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dthe last poem has 2 verbs, kind of \u201dloaded\u201d and saying too much too.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\nThis is not enough! He continues:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
does my haiku have an \u201daha\u201d moment? Which is supposed to score bigtime in an excellent haiku poem.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nNo, I agreed that I hadn\u2019t thought about the \u201daha\u201d moment. I wanted my haiku to be a little \u201dmystical\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then he writes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dtake note of the award winning haiku poems, they have layers of meaning. The reader is drawn to partipate in unravelling the moments found in haiku. Different readers may see deeper meanings which may vary one from the other.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nI have to agree, and I continue until he suggests another version:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the elephant takes just one step<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\u2026 for what it is worth<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nGood enough, but not what I had intended. So I had to ask him how he would express the idea \u201daway\u201d in English. That is the phrase magicians use when they show that something they have made disappear, really isn\u2019t there any longer.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nAfter a couple of rounds I found an expression I could accept and the poem finally developed into this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the elephant<\/p>\n\n\n\n
in the book took just one step \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
voil\u00e0!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One more example of a revision process, now with the prompt : driftwood <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My haiku: (three \u201dstanza\u201d)
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#Driftwood<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n- wooden pieces<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
once a home<\/p>\n\n\n\n
for sailors<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
remnants of trees<\/p>\n\n\n\n
once a home<\/p>\n\n\n\n
for birds<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
my heart <\/p>\n\n\n\n
once a home<\/p>\n\n\n\n
for you<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Comment 1:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think the first works, with the title as the first line:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\ndriftwood–<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nonce a home<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nfor sailors<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nThat works beautifully, as a starting point. The second has a nice feel. Same structure. Maybe the first line could be slightly more direct, like:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nfallen tree–<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nonce a home<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nfor birds<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nOr if you wanted to imply this, but take it in a different direction:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nfallen tree–<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nnow a home<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nfor bugs<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nHere, the original is implied still, but we get the continuation of the lifecycle of the tree as well. You’ve got a nice structure here, that can produce a few poems.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nFind the ones you like – then move on to a new structure\/idea. \ud83d\ude42<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nComment 2:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nThanks for posting these verses.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nBasically these verses all seem to employ the same idea and structure so I am not sure they work as well as they could as a sequence. However, it is always a good idea to have as many drafts of the one haiku to begin with, then in time when you have recovered from the thrill of creating something new with words, you can look back at all the variations, do any revisions that suggest themselves, then pick the best one and discard all the others. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nMy favourite draft is the first –<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nwooden pieces<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nonce a home<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nfor sailors<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nThe first line gives me a clear sensory image of timber so it’s a good way to start a haiku. Lines 2 & 3 combine to give me a statement telling me the poet’s idea – those wooden pieces were once a ship. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nThere are a few problems with using a statement in a haiku rather than a sensory image. One is that it can close off the poem and give it just the one possible meaning and therefore giving the reader limited scope for discovery and interpretation. The second reason is that the poem may not reward extra readings, as there may not be enough depth and resonance in the nouns. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nYour nouns here are pieces, home and sailors and they seem like good, powerful nouns to use, and are probably the reason why I prefer this verse over the others.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 7. Various forms of haiku<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nThere are many forms in which short poems can be written. Most often, three lines are used, and the form short – long – short is preferred. But it is also possible to write haiku with only one line, which then is called \u201dmonoku\u201d, like the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Soon too late to leave<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(made into a shahai on top of a picture):<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"pastedGraphic.png\"\/](\"blob:https:\/\/yvonnewaern.se\/0ed09c45-6e3f-427d-9d33-3d550b78362a\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\nAnother form may use two lines, and it is then called a \u201dduostitch\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Something like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ice on the birdbath –<\/p>\n\n\n\n
where are my mittens?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You can also expand the haiku with two new (long) lines, and then it is called a \u201dtanka\u201d:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Going into<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the same river twice<\/p>\n\n\n\n
is impossible<\/p>\n\n\n\n
it is said by those<\/p>\n\n\n\n
who know more than I do<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is again more similar to an aphorism, so I quickly leave this topic and turn to another one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Senryu<\/strong>.<\/h2>\n\n\n\nIt is obvious that poets want to write about their own lives, sorrows and joys. A haiku is meant to be an observation of the nature, not of us as human beings. So, whenever love or death, sorrow or joy is described, the resulting poem is called a senryu, after the Japanese poet Karai Senryu (1718-1790). Senryu are often cynical or humorous while haiku are more serious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Many of my haiku attempts seem to be senryu rather than haiku, but all are not cynical. Here I found one with a glimpse of irony:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thought fragments<\/p>\n\n\n\n
over a flickering screen<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– social media <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Writing after memory<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nI had a period when I painted a lot. This painting is from that period, and the memory evoked is from the fish. #fish<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once I was preparing fish for dinner. My little daughter came and wept: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Please revive him!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
crying little girl<\/p>\n\n\n\n
refusing fish for dinner<\/p>\n\n\n\n
fish should swim<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Comment (proposed edit):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
crying little girl<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nno revival <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nof fish for dinner<\/em>Second thoughts<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nSometimes it may feel ephemeral and irresponsible to write haiku. I am not alone in that feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A contribution by one of the members of the group \u201dThe Daily Haiku\u201d, Stan Phillips:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#Fragments<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fragments of stardust<\/p>\n\n\n\n
swirled in the chaos of time<\/p>\n\n\n\n
and we write haiku<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sailing memories<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nA haibun<\/p>\n\n\n\n
hauling sails<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sailing creates so many memorries. I have been sailing in the Stockholm archipelago for thirty years Always an island in our way or outside of the island in some way. Once a rudder broke and we had to stay three nights in an island harbour to get it fixed. My woollen sweater reminds me of those days. I had nothing else to do than knitting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
swimming keels<\/p>\n\n\n\n
summer satisfaction<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From lazy leeward sailing to quick and somewhat frightening tacking (at least when the children were small) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
jibs are hauled up wind<\/p>\n\n\n\n
rudders turning quickly<\/p>\n\n\n\n
seagulls whoop<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We have to bow when the boom turns. It may come very quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
beware! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
every turn in tack<\/p>\n\n\n\n
puts my life at risk<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On #Prompts<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nI have to reflect a little about the current practise of writing to \u201dprompts\u201d. Since haiku ideally is a reaction to some nature experience, prompts are in a way \u201dmade up\u201d experience. As long as they touch some actual experience I just go there and look, I can also take some experience from my long life and write about that. But if I have to go to Google and see what is meant by the word, it is difficult to write from any kind of experience. Recently I have struggled with words as \u201dgardenia\u201d (never met such flowers in other places than in flower shops), \u201dtyphon\u201d (lucky enough to see them only on TV) or \u201dblue moon\u201d (I have no idea of what that may be). <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I could easily relate to a prompt as \u201delephant\u201d from my childhood visits to some Zoo. I can as well imagine a frog jumping into a pond by relating them to the small frogs I see jumping on my gravel path. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, most prompts require some extra work in order to relate to something I have seen on Television, some memory or something artificial. I wonder what effect this has on haiku writing? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I put this reflection on the Facebook group: \u201dsharing haiku knowledge\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And immediately got an answer from a haiku teacher:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Haiku evolved out of hokku which itself evolved out of linked poetry where each stanza was written by a different poet. This linked poetry form is called renga and is based, crudely speaking, on prompts. A lot of renga verses were fictitious<\/em> and often fantastical so Basho came along with renku. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nhttps:\/\/thehaikufoundation.org\/the-renku-sessions-way-of\u2026\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\nFrom idea to poem<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nHow do we write haiku? I myself start with an observation or an idea and play around with words to condense the idea into a \u201cku\u201d. Let me take two haiku, generated from the same observation and see how the end result differs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have a good exemple from the prompt \u201cmorning fog\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One writer presented the following shahai on that topic:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
magicians lake house, <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\ndisappears every morning; <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nfoggy illusions<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nepc 1956- Ed Crow ley<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Photo by dbn dixie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another approach was made by me, made into a haibun<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Morning fog<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It happens that I have to get up early in the morning. In sunrise, at half past 3, I met a sight that covered the whole nature around me. It had disappeared when I finally rose, but it is still in my memory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
morning fog clouds<\/p>\n\n\n\n
leave shimmering twigs<\/p>\n\n\n\n
lake lies still<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now to my experience of both haiku:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The idea that a house disappears every morning is mind boggling and still quite comprehensible, since it is the magician\u2019s house. I remember that haiku can be playful in many ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My own haiku is more \u2018awe\u2019 inspired. I chose words to alliterate, not for play but for verbal beauty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Using old memories<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nAlthough haiku in principle is about a direct experience, we can of course utilize old memories. That\u2019s how I most often react to prompts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#reflection<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nIt took me nineteen years before I could look at my paintings from the time my husband was in treatment for cancer<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And now I can even think about the tombstone:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
during his cancer<\/p>\n\n\n\n
we don\u2019t talk tombstone –<\/p>\n\n\n\n
leave space for my name<\/p>\n\n\n\n
THANKS!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
A multitude people are engaged in Haiku and many of them are willing to help a novice. Here I want to thank those who in some way have made a contribution to this book. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are a lot more people writing haiku at the web. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My preferred platform has been Facebook, where I have participated in the following groups (alhabetical order):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Formal haiku – The art of 5-7- 5, Haiku feedback, Haiku Moments Group, Haiku Nuggets, Haiku Nook, NAHAIWRIMO, Our Haiku Shack\/Shanty, Sharing Haiku Knowledge,The Daily Haiku, Toin Haiku<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And those who have helped me most are (alphabetic order):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Willie Bongcaron, Alfred Booth, Paul R. Cordeiro, Daman Dharmachari, Lev Hart, BeeJay, Mira Rehm, Alan Summers, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Richard Vallance, Olena Viengsonbat, Marilyn Ward<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Postscript<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nI sincerely feel that our world would be healthier and happier if everyone practiced haiku!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nScott Mason<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nI can only agree!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
THE FIRST SIX MONTHS OF LEARNING With comments YVONNE W\u00c6RN ISBN 9789198652833 Yvonne.Waern@gmail.com Table of contents Preface Phase 1. 5-7-5 Phase 2. Getting into haibun Phase 3. Not 5-7-5 Phase 4. An important sidetrack Phase 5. Phrase and fragment Phase 6. Morning fragrance. A haibun Phase 6. Refining a haiku Phase 7. Various forms of … Forts\u00e4tt l\u00e4sa Haiku stumbling<\/span>
Curiosity is the mother of much joy and irritation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had heard about haiku.I joined some haiku groups on Facebook in order to learn something about haiku writing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here I want to share some of the lessons I have received. I may not have understood everything. Everybody says that you can continue learning haiku during your whole life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Therefore, I am grateful if you have any comments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are welcome to email me:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
yvonne.waern@gmail.com<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Phase 1 Five seven five<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n First, I thought that haiku were short poems, to be written on three lines., with five syllables on the first, seven on the second and five on the third.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I also had understood that a note about the season should be made.<\/p>\n\n\n\n when my flower smiles<\/p>\n\n\n\n I smile, too, in early May<\/p>\n\n\n\n later tears will fall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Comment:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n No anthropomorphism in haiku!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n So I learned some<\/p>\n\n\n\n (to be unlearned later)<\/p>\n\n\n\n fruit trees are making<\/p>\n\n\n\n tasty flower cakes in May<\/p>\n\n\n\n no guests are coming<\/p>\n\n\n\n No comments<\/p>\n\n\n\n Was this OK?<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Getting into haibun<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n #Olive<\/p>\n\n\n\n Background:<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have several times witnessed olive farmers in Spain during their harvest of olives. They place a piece of cloth under the tree, climb up the tree and shake. On the ground lies their harvest, to be sorted out from the leaves and small twigs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. <\/p>\n\n\n\n untidy business<\/p>\n\n\n\n leaves and fruits on the ground<\/p>\n\n\n\n olive harvest<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. <\/p>\n\n\n\n shaken twigs scatter<\/p>\n\n\n\n fruits on farmers\u2019 carpet<\/p>\n\n\n\n for a Golden stream<\/p>\n\n\n\n Comment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n A haibun is a short story then a<\/em> haiku. we don’t usually use images though.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n (I had included an image )<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201dMorning fragrance\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I sat at the veranda, watching the bird chicks play on the roof.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One fell and I was on my way to get up to rescue it, when he flapped his wings and disappeared into the wet leaves of a cherry tree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n flapping sound<\/p>\n\n\n\n flowers catch sun rays <\/p>\n\n\n\n after morning rain<\/p>\n\n\n\n It started raining again, fine drops fell on the flowers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then I noticed the exquisite smell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n fragrance arrives<\/p>\n\n\n\n nose shivers <\/p>\n\n\n\n A bumble bee buzzed above the flowers close to me, but stopped at my sight and backed into the air. <\/p>\n\n\n\n bumble bee searching<\/p>\n\n\n\n shocked at the sight<\/p>\n\n\n\n behind the flowers<\/p>\n\n\n\n No reactions. It was, after all, summer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Much later, one of my nicest haiku friends told me that this was again an anthropomorphism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Now, much later, I see that I should write in current time, that is ”sit” insteadof ”sat”, for instance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Not 5-7-5<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I read that the 5-7-5 syllables may be a misunderstanding. In English a syllable is different from the Japanese \u201dmora\u201d. Thus, I left the 5-7-5 pattern.<\/p>\n\n\n\n #decorum<\/p>\n\n\n\n the grazing robot<\/p>\n\n\n\n has stopped working<\/p>\n\n\n\n dandelions<\/p>\n\n\n\n Comment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The gra<\/em>zing robot is a funny idea.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Haiku are so short that I easily fell into a habit of writing aphorisms. However, I was soon told that this isn\u2019t right. Here some of my critisized attempts:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Garden snail<\/p>\n\n\n\n home is everywhere <\/p>\n\n\n\n when it\u2019s on your back<\/p>\n\n\n\n Comment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is a nice shahai (haiku + photo). However, if you take the haiku alone, it is more like a saying than a haiku. You may want to make it more traditional with something like:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Home on your back<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Heavy and everywhere<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Slow globetrotter <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n now on the theme of \u201dshadow\u201d. I was inspired by a photo that I had taken:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nobody<\/p>\n\n\n\n escapes<\/p>\n\n\n\n his shadow<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is easily seen that this isn\u2019t a haiku. It might qualify as a one_liner, a monostich or a monoku. However, it has not got the preferred form of a haiku, no fragment\/phrase structure (to be presented in phase 5).<\/p>\n\n\n\n This was pointed out by some commentator, who also said that this was more of an aphorism than a haiku. And haiku are not about aphorisms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In early summer I am usually obsessed with the sun and the light. Thus, the prompts concerned with sun fitted me very well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n #<\/strong>Sunshine<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n After eight months of indoor enclosure sunshine appears. <\/p>\n\n\n\n dropping mobile<\/p>\n\n\n\n sorry, I have to leave –<\/p>\n\n\n\n the door opens<\/p>\n\n\n\n #Sunshine<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n six hours of travel <\/p>\n\n\n\n in a sardine coffiin<\/p>\n\n\n\n – sunshine!<\/p>\n\n\n\n #Sunshine<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n on my tombstone<\/p>\n\n\n\n just one word:<\/p>\n\n\n\n LIGHT<\/p>\n\n\n\n #Sunshine<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n a spoonful of <\/p>\n\n\n\n summer sun enough for a<\/p>\n\n\n\n winter day<\/p>\n\n\n\n Much later I understood that this maybe another aphorism<\/p>\n\n\n\n Phrase and fragment<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n In next phase I learned that the three lines of a haiku should be constructed as follows:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Two lines that are called \u201da phrase\u201d, describing one observation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A third line called \u201da fragment\u201d, that should contain another observation, linked to the first phrase by either an association, a contrast or a comparison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I take the following as my example. It is mocking haiku, I think, but it is very typical:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Haiku are simple<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n but sometimes they don\u2019t make sense <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REFRIGERATOR<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n (quote usually attributed to Roger Nelson)<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are some examples of my attempts:<\/p>\n\n\n\n October afternoon<\/p>\n\n\n\n waiting for coffee<\/p>\n\n\n\n the cozy armchair<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n apples in the grass<\/p>\n\n\n\n small holes in each skin<\/p>\n\n\n\n birds fly up<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n a cluttered mind <\/p>\n\n\n\n that\u2019s where you find<\/p>\n\n\n\n the unexpected<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n jumping up in air<\/p>\n\n\n\n ending in free fall \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n from the bed<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n the kicked ball unfurls – <\/p>\n\n\n\n children run away<\/p>\n\n\n\n with the cat<\/p>\n\n\n\n Refining a haiku<\/strong> – an example<\/p>\n\n\n\n A haiku is short enough for the poet to reflect over every single word. Sometimes experienced haijins (English for haiku poets) react to my attempts. I am going to show here what happened to a haiku that I published in the group ”Haiku Nuggets”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It started with me reacting to a ”prompt” that was ”elephant”. I was going to do something different, let the elephant be fictional in a book and then step out of the book. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The first version was:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The elephant<\/p>\n\n\n\n in the book took just a step<\/p>\n\n\n\n my favourite doll!<\/p>\n\n\n\n The reaction from a reader was that the first two lines were good. So I should do something about the last line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had thought it could be a bit ambiguous: 1) the elephant stepped on my favorite doll <\/p>\n\n\n\n 2) the elephant was my favorite doll.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another reader had another suggestion:<\/p>\n\n\n\n the elephant<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n took just one step<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n from the book.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Well – it was not what I had in mind, and besides, it was just one idea and I wanted two thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I suggested a slightly different ending: 1) the elephant got a banana, 2) a fly flew its way, 3) the elephant disappeared. The commentator thought it would be good with the third: the elephant disappeared.Meanwhile still another reader came with another suggestion:<\/p>\n\n\n\n fairy tale<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n the elephant takes<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n a graceful step<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n which I didn\u2019t like at all:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201dNo! That tells too much! With the fairy tale! A little mystery is better, as I see it. I chose \u201din the book\u201d of some reason!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n So I suggested the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n the elephant<\/p>\n\n\n\n in the book takes just one step \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n disappears<\/p>\n\n\n\n To which the commentator responds: \u201dthe idea of Karumi\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n And I of course have to ask: \u201dWhat is Karumi?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201dIt is \u2019lightness\u201d\u2019-<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n ??<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Then I protest against including the word \u201dfairy tale\u201d, and the commentator writes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201dLet the reader for what it is worth, decide on that by allowint him\/herself to participate and interpret the poem his\/her way\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I answer:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201dI want to have some part in the creative process by offering cues\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n and the patient commentator points out:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201ddon\u2019t make them vague and hard to understand as to muddle the overall intent of the poem.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n and then he points out something I didn\u2019t think of before:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201dthe last poem has 2 verbs, kind of \u201dloaded\u201d and saying too much too.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is not enough! He continues:<\/p>\n\n\n\n does my haiku have an \u201daha\u201d moment? Which is supposed to score bigtime in an excellent haiku poem.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n No, I agreed that I hadn\u2019t thought about the \u201daha\u201d moment. I wanted my haiku to be a little \u201dmystical\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then he writes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201dtake note of the award winning haiku poems, they have layers of meaning. The reader is drawn to partipate in unravelling the moments found in haiku. Different readers may see deeper meanings which may vary one from the other.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I have to agree, and I continue until he suggests another version:<\/p>\n\n\n\n the elephant takes just one step<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026 for what it is worth<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Good enough, but not what I had intended. So I had to ask him how he would express the idea \u201daway\u201d in English. That is the phrase magicians use when they show that something they have made disappear, really isn\u2019t there any longer.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n After a couple of rounds I found an expression I could accept and the poem finally developed into this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n the elephant<\/p>\n\n\n\n in the book took just one step \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n voil\u00e0!<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n One more example of a revision process, now with the prompt : driftwood <\/p>\n\n\n\n My haiku: (three \u201dstanza\u201d) #Driftwood<\/p>\n\n\n\n once a home<\/p>\n\n\n\n for sailors<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n 2) <\/p>\n\n\n\n remnants of trees<\/p>\n\n\n\n once a home<\/p>\n\n\n\n for birds<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n 3) <\/p>\n\n\n\n my heart <\/p>\n\n\n\n once a home<\/p>\n\n\n\n for you<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Comment 1:<\/p>\n\n\n\n I think the first works, with the title as the first line:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n driftwood–<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n once a home<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n for sailors<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n That works beautifully, as a starting point. The second has a nice feel. Same structure. Maybe the first line could be slightly more direct, like:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n fallen tree–<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n once a home<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n for birds<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Or if you wanted to imply this, but take it in a different direction:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n fallen tree–<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n now a home<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n for bugs<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Here, the original is implied still, but we get the continuation of the lifecycle of the tree as well. You’ve got a nice structure here, that can produce a few poems.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Find the ones you like – then move on to a new structure\/idea. \ud83d\ude42<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Comment 2:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Thanks for posting these verses.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Basically these verses all seem to employ the same idea and structure so I am not sure they work as well as they could as a sequence. However, it is always a good idea to have as many drafts of the one haiku to begin with, then in time when you have recovered from the thrill of creating something new with words, you can look back at all the variations, do any revisions that suggest themselves, then pick the best one and discard all the others. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n My favourite draft is the first –<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n wooden pieces<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n once a home<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n for sailors<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n The first line gives me a clear sensory image of timber so it’s a good way to start a haiku. Lines 2 & 3 combine to give me a statement telling me the poet’s idea – those wooden pieces were once a ship. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n There are a few problems with using a statement in a haiku rather than a sensory image. One is that it can close off the poem and give it just the one possible meaning and therefore giving the reader limited scope for discovery and interpretation. The second reason is that the poem may not reward extra readings, as there may not be enough depth and resonance in the nouns. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Your nouns here are pieces, home and sailors and they seem like good, powerful nouns to use, and are probably the reason why I prefer this verse over the others.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n There are many forms in which short poems can be written. Most often, three lines are used, and the form short – long – short is preferred. But it is also possible to write haiku with only one line, which then is called \u201dmonoku\u201d, like the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Soon too late to leave<\/p>\n\n\n\n (made into a shahai on top of a picture):<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another form may use two lines, and it is then called a \u201dduostitch\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Something like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ice on the birdbath –<\/p>\n\n\n\n where are my mittens?<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can also expand the haiku with two new (long) lines, and then it is called a \u201dtanka\u201d:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Going into<\/p>\n\n\n\n the same river twice<\/p>\n\n\n\n is impossible<\/p>\n\n\n\n it is said by those<\/p>\n\n\n\n who know more than I do<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is again more similar to an aphorism, so I quickly leave this topic and turn to another one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is obvious that poets want to write about their own lives, sorrows and joys. A haiku is meant to be an observation of the nature, not of us as human beings. So, whenever love or death, sorrow or joy is described, the resulting poem is called a senryu, after the Japanese poet Karai Senryu (1718-1790). Senryu are often cynical or humorous while haiku are more serious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many of my haiku attempts seem to be senryu rather than haiku, but all are not cynical. Here I found one with a glimpse of irony:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thought fragments<\/p>\n\n\n\n over a flickering screen<\/p>\n\n\n\n – social media <\/p>\n\n\n\n I had a period when I painted a lot. This painting is from that period, and the memory evoked is from the fish. #fish<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once I was preparing fish for dinner. My little daughter came and wept: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Please revive him!<\/p>\n\n\n\n crying little girl<\/p>\n\n\n\n refusing fish for dinner<\/p>\n\n\n\n fish should swim<\/p>\n\n\n\n Comment (proposed edit):<\/p>\n\n\n\n crying little girl<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n no revival <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n of fish for dinner<\/em>Second thoughts<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes it may feel ephemeral and irresponsible to write haiku. I am not alone in that feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A contribution by one of the members of the group \u201dThe Daily Haiku\u201d, Stan Phillips:<\/p>\n\n\n\n #Fragments<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fragments of stardust<\/p>\n\n\n\n swirled in the chaos of time<\/p>\n\n\n\n and we write haiku<\/p>\n\n\n\n A haibun<\/p>\n\n\n\n hauling sails<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sailing creates so many memorries. I have been sailing in the Stockholm archipelago for thirty years Always an island in our way or outside of the island in some way. Once a rudder broke and we had to stay three nights in an island harbour to get it fixed. My woollen sweater reminds me of those days. I had nothing else to do than knitting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n swimming keels<\/p>\n\n\n\n summer satisfaction<\/p>\n\n\n\n From lazy leeward sailing to quick and somewhat frightening tacking (at least when the children were small) <\/p>\n\n\n\n jibs are hauled up wind<\/p>\n\n\n\n rudders turning quickly<\/p>\n\n\n\n seagulls whoop<\/p>\n\n\n\n We have to bow when the boom turns. It may come very quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n beware! <\/p>\n\n\n\n every turn in tack<\/p>\n\n\n\n puts my life at risk<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n I have to reflect a little about the current practise of writing to \u201dprompts\u201d. Since haiku ideally is a reaction to some nature experience, prompts are in a way \u201dmade up\u201d experience. As long as they touch some actual experience I just go there and look, I can also take some experience from my long life and write about that. But if I have to go to Google and see what is meant by the word, it is difficult to write from any kind of experience. Recently I have struggled with words as \u201dgardenia\u201d (never met such flowers in other places than in flower shops), \u201dtyphon\u201d (lucky enough to see them only on TV) or \u201dblue moon\u201d (I have no idea of what that may be). <\/p>\n\n\n\n I could easily relate to a prompt as \u201delephant\u201d from my childhood visits to some Zoo. I can as well imagine a frog jumping into a pond by relating them to the small frogs I see jumping on my gravel path. <\/p>\n\n\n\n However, most prompts require some extra work in order to relate to something I have seen on Television, some memory or something artificial. I wonder what effect this has on haiku writing? <\/p>\n\n\n\n I put this reflection on the Facebook group: \u201dsharing haiku knowledge\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And immediately got an answer from a haiku teacher:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Haiku evolved out of hokku which itself evolved out of linked poetry where each stanza was written by a different poet. This linked poetry form is called renga and is based, crudely speaking, on prompts. A lot of renga verses were fictitious<\/em> and often fantastical so Basho came along with renku. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n https:\/\/thehaikufoundation.org\/the-renku-sessions-way-of\u2026\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n How do we write haiku? I myself start with an observation or an idea and play around with words to condense the idea into a \u201cku\u201d. Let me take two haiku, generated from the same observation and see how the end result differs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have a good exemple from the prompt \u201cmorning fog\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One writer presented the following shahai on that topic:<\/p>\n\n\n\n magicians lake house, <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n disappears every morning; <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n foggy illusions<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n epc 1956- Ed Crow ley<\/p>\n\n\n\n Photo by dbn dixie <\/p>\n\n\n\n Another approach was made by me, made into a haibun<\/p>\n\n\n\n Morning fog<\/p>\n\n\n\n It happens that I have to get up early in the morning. In sunrise, at half past 3, I met a sight that covered the whole nature around me. It had disappeared when I finally rose, but it is still in my memory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n morning fog clouds<\/p>\n\n\n\n leave shimmering twigs<\/p>\n\n\n\n lake lies still<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now to my experience of both haiku:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The idea that a house disappears every morning is mind boggling and still quite comprehensible, since it is the magician\u2019s house. I remember that haiku can be playful in many ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My own haiku is more \u2018awe\u2019 inspired. I chose words to alliterate, not for play but for verbal beauty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Although haiku in principle is about a direct experience, we can of course utilize old memories. That\u2019s how I most often react to prompts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n #reflection<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It took me nineteen years before I could look at my paintings from the time my husband was in treatment for cancer<\/p>\n\n\n\n And now I can even think about the tombstone:<\/p>\n\n\n\n during his cancer<\/p>\n\n\n\n we don\u2019t talk tombstone –<\/p>\n\n\n\n leave space for my name<\/p>\n\n\n\n A multitude people are engaged in Haiku and many of them are willing to help a novice. Here I want to thank those who in some way have made a contribution to this book. <\/p>\n\n\n\n There are a lot more people writing haiku at the web. <\/p>\n\n\n\n My preferred platform has been Facebook, where I have participated in the following groups (alhabetical order):<\/p>\n\n\n\n Formal haiku – The art of 5-7- 5, Haiku feedback, Haiku Moments Group, Haiku Nuggets, Haiku Nook, NAHAIWRIMO, Our Haiku Shack\/Shanty, Sharing Haiku Knowledge,The Daily Haiku, Toin Haiku<\/p>\n\n\n\n And those who have helped me most are (alphabetic order):<\/p>\n\n\n\n Willie Bongcaron, Alfred Booth, Paul R. Cordeiro, Daman Dharmachari, Lev Hart, BeeJay, Mira Rehm, Alan Summers, <\/p>\n\n\n\n Richard Vallance, Olena Viengsonbat, Marilyn Ward<\/p>\n\n\n\n I sincerely feel that our world would be healthier and happier if everyone practiced haiku!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Scott Mason<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I can only agree!<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" THE FIRST SIX MONTHS OF LEARNING With comments YVONNE W\u00c6RN ISBN 9789198652833 Yvonne.Waern@gmail.com Table of contents Preface Phase 1. 5-7-5 Phase 2. Getting into haibun Phase 3. Not 5-7-5 Phase 4. An important sidetrack Phase 5. Phrase and fragment Phase 6. Morning fragrance. A haibun Phase 6. Refining a haiku Phase 7. Various forms of … Forts\u00e4tt l\u00e4sa Haiku stumbling<\/span> <\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\nIn next attempt, I was still stuck with the idea of 5-7-5<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Phase 2. <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Another haibun<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Phase 3. <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Phase 4. No aphorisms!<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Another example, <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
An important sidetrack<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Phase 5. <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Phase 6 <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Phase 7. Various forms of haiku<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Senryu<\/strong>.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Writing after memory<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Sailing memories<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
On #Prompts<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
From idea to poem<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Using old memories<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
THANKS!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Postscript<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n